Wednesday, March 9, 2016

“I Will Not Go Quietly…” #JHedzWorlD


I just started working with a new psychiatric nurse practitioner and I am feeling positive and optimistic about working with her!!! I have been trying to discontinue an anti-psychotic medication called Zyprexa because it has made me gain too much weight and it could be very detrimental to my physical health… When I attended the NAMI conference in Billings last year, I learned that the effectiveness of anti-psychotic medications, hasn’t really changed very much… A lot of psychiatrists and mental health professionals, set themselves up for a lot of unneeded failures and frustrations because they are too controlling and won’t face and accept the fact that it’s inevitable that people who have mental illness, will have symptoms and it doesn’t matter what medications we are on or what the dosages of the medications are… This will not make the symptoms “go away,” and the best that can realistically can be accomplished, is that I will be able to manage my symptoms and keep on top of my reactions to them… It’s important that I take my medications the way that they are prescribed, that I don’t use any non-prescribed drugs or alcohol and that I do the things that are suggested by my mental health providers and the other people who I work with… I should avoid watching too much television or listening to the radio all of the time because this has been a very serious problem in my life… I can do better than to be getting all hot and bothered about current events and politics and when it comes down to what I believe, other people can “take it or leave it…” When I am getting all worked up about things that I am powerless to do anything to do anything about, I need to change the direction that I have been going… I am a registered voter, I have been involved in the political process of the mental health system and I have corresponded with our state and federal representatives…. I am trying to get my act together and to be helpful to others and when I am doing what is suggested, my symptoms shouldn’t be a problem for me… My treatment and psychotherapy is confidential and what is said in groups and meetings, should stay there… This isn’t the business of other people and I don’t have to disclose anything about this to anyone… I will live the way that I choose to live and I will love the people who I choose to love and this doesn’t need to concern anybody else… I have a lot of enemies and adversaries and it isn’t the addicts, alcoholics, adulterers or people who are in the LGBT communities, who are the problem for me… Nobody has any business or any right to be a deliberate hindrance or stumbling block in the way of another and those who oppress the poor, blaspheme his maker… America is supposedly the “wealthiest country in the world,” so why is it that the vast majority of we Americans, cannot get ahead and be successful??? Our senior citizens and people who have disabilities, live on limited incomes and when they start getting ahead, they’re no longer eligible for their benefits or the help that they need… People who are working full time or are even working two jobs, aren’t making enough to rent a nice place to live and to have their basic essential needs met… A lot of college graduates, are buried in debt from student loans and the dreams and aspirations that they had when they started school, have been unjustly and unfairly, shattered… Justice is one of the last priorities of our corrupt court system, it’s all bought and paid for… We either have the money, a favorable status and access to good lawyers and attorneys, or we don’t… People who are rich, powerful and famous, are given preferential treatment in our courts and by our system and they can get away with just about anything but when any of us “normal,” or disadvantaged/disabled people are charged with anything, our constitutional rights are almost always, dismissed or disregarded… I don’t appreciated being threatened and slandered, having this denied at my expense and being chided by people… There will never be much justice in my life but in the end, on the final day of judgment, this will all have to be thoroughly explained… I own the fact that I will have plenty of explaining to do myself because I am a sinner and I am not a saint… I have my schizophrenia, a co-occurring disorder and have had to live with over two decades of undiagnosed, untreated post traumatic stress and I have a lot of legitimate reasons to be upset… I am getting the help that I need to get through all of this!!! My case manager and I, have put together a good treatment plan, I have some realistic and attainable goals and if I am in a crisis and need help, I can get the help that I need “24-7-365..” I can talk about anything that I want to talk about when I do my psychotherapy… As long as I don’t make any threats of violence towards myself or others and I have no abusive motives, I can say anything that I want to say to my therapist… I don’t like the way that most people who have mental illness, are treated and viewed and when mental health disservices or abuses unfold around us, we are not at fault for this… I know how hard that it has been for me to get treated for my co-occurring disorder, to find and keep employment and to have the success that I have had… Most people who have psychiatric illnesses, cannot do it… They are not at fault for this… When people want to bitch and moan about drugs, why don’t they go after the people who sell the shit and are always ripping people off??? I have a lot of enemies and adversaries and a lot of feelings of anger and resentments… Whether they are justifiable or not, doesn’t concern me… I need to do what I can to manage my symptoms, to keep on top of my reactions to them and to do what I can to function in the community that I live in… I have my loved ones, our friends, my peers, the fellowship of Narcotic’s Anonymous, my mental health providers and my therapist, I have some good things going for myself and if I am going, I will not go quietly…


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JHedzWorlD






“I Will Not Go Quietly…” #JHedzWorlD

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